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♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
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‐ This place is amazing.
3
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How do they keep incrementally improving
products year after year?
4
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,599
‐ Oh. The Apple Pencil Pro is far superior
5
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to last year's disgusting,
obsolete Apple Pencil.
6
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The new one can write in cursive.
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‐ I literally saw Emily Dickinson
writing poetry with it
8
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in the Apple TV+ show Dickinson
on my Apple TV!
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‐ Oh, they have a U2 branded Wi‐Fi router?
10
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‐ Wow! It's red!
11
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For every four bars of signal you get,
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Bono sends a pair of shoes
to a sea turtle.
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‐ Hey there, you looking for a repair‐‐
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‐ Fetch me an Apple Pencil Pro,
Apple servant.
15
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‐ You got it.
You want a charging necklace too?
16
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The pencil runs out of batteries very fa‐‐
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Get away from me! Wee!
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Help!
‐ Oh my god, Pete, you okay?
19
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‐ These are the psycho aliens
that tortured me in their dungeon!
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‐ That's impossible. We turned
our dungeon into a Florida room.
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‐ Yeah, we've never even met
this fuckin' freak show!
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Hello, sir, I'm‐‐
‐ Don't touch me!
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Siri, call the cops!
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Playing Destiny's Child.
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‐ That's them!
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‐ He doesn't have a hole.
27
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‐ We'll just have to make one.
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‐ Hey, how's it going?
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‐ The Solar Opposites are going to jail!
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Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia
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until the asteroid hit.
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One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
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and escaped into, uh, the space,
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searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
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We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
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That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
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I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
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This is, this is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
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This is ridiculous.
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I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.
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People are stupid and confusing.
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Do they like Brendan Fraser or not?
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He's a good guy.
Give him a chance.
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♪ ominous music playing ♪
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‐ Chris Cicowski, 35.
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Mandy Sinclair, 28.
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Jeffrey Dean Dorgan, 33.
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Agnes Peterbort,
75 years old.
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Tomorrow would have been
her birthday.
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‐ Cool list, bro. I take my coffee
with a splash of mouse milk.
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‐ Then maybe you don't understand
what's happening here.
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You're done.
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I know you killed all those people,
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I was an executive story editor
on Bones seasons five through nine
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and let me tell you, friend,
that's a season wrap on Ethan!
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‐ Aw. You never even got a bump
to co‐producer? Pathetic.
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I bet they just stuck you
in the Bones joke room.
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‐ We didn't have a joke room,
it was an innuendo room.
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And I was only there
for the back nine.
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If you ever want to see
the halogen reptile lamp
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that Yumyulack uses to simulate
the light of day again,
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you better start cooperating.
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‐ Buddy, you got it all wrong.
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I'm going to be walking out of here,
and you're not.
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‐ You think Tim and the Walldermen
are just gonna let you go?
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‐ Oh yeah, babe.
Without me, Tim is nothing.
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Nada, zero, zilch.
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‐ Oh wow, I didn't realize I was talking
to someone so important.
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‐ You think Jesse gives us CLIF bars,
chewable Tylenol, and Dasani water?
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Come on.
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All that protein and medicine
that you're used to?
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This guy.
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‐ So I'm supposed to believe
you're killing people during the week,
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then turning big and running errands
on the weekends?
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‐ Oh my god, you're so stupid.
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Listen, there is a hole
in the top of the Wall.
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It's been there
since before the war.
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The Duke would use it
to bring in extra supplies
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to keep control
of the population.
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‐ A top‐secret hole that
we could use to escape, huh?
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You have quite
the imagination, murderer.
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‐ Broheim had
an Amazon Fresh subscription.
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They'd throw the deliveries on the roof,
then I'd just climb out and I'd get ‘em.
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Now I do the same thing
for my close personal friend, Tim.
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‐ I'm sick of this bullshit!
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There's no hole in the Wall,
and I won't let you drag Tim's good name.
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‐ In the beforefore time,
I was a rock climbing instructor
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at Bally's Total Fitness.
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Outside the Wall,
the only thing I used to murder
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was indoor climbing walls.
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‐ And I care why?
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‐ Once I got in here,
I had so much temptation,
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you know, so many potential victims,
and no rock climbing to distract me.
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At first, I was going to kill myself.
That way, I wouldn't murder anyone.
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But then you saved me.
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‐ What?
‐ Oh, you don't remember, do you?
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I am the one who started
the flooding of the Nerds.
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My plan was to die in that Nerd pile
and finally escape my impulses.
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But then you saved me.
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‐ Oh my god.
‐ That's when I knew I was special.
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You saved me
so I could fulfill my destiny.
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I'm a god!
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‐ Shut up!
‐ I'm a god!
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Let's go.
Let's get in here.
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Let's do this.
‐ Welp, that's my ride.
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‐ Okay, let's say there is
some big conspiracy
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to help you kill
innocent people.
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But now you've told me
the whole plan, Mr. Total Fitness.
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So what happens next?
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‐ I don't know, they'll probably just come
in here and kill you
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and then blame it on a cricket.
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‐ What? How the hell
do you know about the cricket?
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‐ These guys aren't exactly
creative geniuses.
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They always just blame it
on a cricket.
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‐ Has anyone mistreated you
since you got here?
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‐ I'm not saying anything
until our lawyer gets here.
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‐ Oh my god, I'm your lawyer.
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How many times do we have
to go over this?
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‐ Objection, overruled,
I rest my case.
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‐ This isn't even the trial‐‐
forget it.
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Let me walk you
through the accusations,
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and I gotta say,
they seem very specific.
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According to Peter,
the, uh, Okja‐type character,
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this all started off
when Korvo got annoyed
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at an annual
Rib Fest‐style block party
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on the street
outside your house...
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♪ rock music playing on speakers ♪
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‐ Pupa, put those delicious ribs down!
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Goddammit,
I hate this stupid Rib Fest.
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There's nowhere to park,
they play rib jams all day,
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and some guy who's not me
always wins the "Best Ribs" competition!
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Why can't Korvo
be a winner for once?
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‐ You know, Korvo, you could take
some barbecue classes
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at The Learning Annex
or watch some YouTube videos,
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chefnap Paula Deen‐‐
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‐ Kidnapping people takes too long,
I'll just use sci‐fi shit!
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The prosecution claims
Korvo created a giant pig thing
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that self‐cooked racks
of award‐winning ribs
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out of its chest,
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00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:57,191
whose blood tasted like
delicious barbecue sauce,
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and when struck
"shat out all the fixins."
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Dammit, that does sound like
something I would do.
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Right down to the "fixin'" shits.
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‐ Where am I? Wh‐what am I?
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Are you my dad? Wee! Help!
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Ohh!
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Whoa‐oh! Oh!
‐ Mm, that's good rib.
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Could use a little
barbecue sauce though.
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‐ Oh no!
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Korvo won
five straight Rib Fest gold medals,
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dethroning Lizzo's cousin, Ribbo,
as the Rib Fest champion.
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‐ Please let me go.
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‐ Hold still, I need a potluck worth
of your shit for a church event tonight.
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00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:29,139
‐ Korvo, wait! I need Peter
to help me with my math homework.
155
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He's not going to be able
to focus if he's screaming.
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What's the X in this equation?
Tell me!
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‐ Hi, guys! Are we having a‐‐
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Oh my god, what's that?
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‐ Please, little girl! These guys
are crazy. You gotta help me!
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‐ Don't worry, little guy. Jesse's here.
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00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,236
You have to let him go!
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You can't just keep a creature trapped
in your basement and torture it.
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‐ You clearly don't understand
how important it is to win rib contests.
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‐ Ohhh! Oh!
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‐ Oh god!
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‐ Guys! Come watch me do donuts
on the front lawn!
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I finally figured out how to do it.
Turns out it's a circle!
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‐ Awesome!
‐ Alright.
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00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,092
Fuck you, lawn! Woo!
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00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,468
Yeah‐hey! Woo!
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00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:09,054
Peter escaped
while you were distracted by the donuts.
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00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,807
He spent a few nights in the woods,
then he moved on with his life,
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got his MFA
in interpretive dance,
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couldn't find work, duh,
so he got a job at the Apple Store
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00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,729
with all the other people
who have MFAs.
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‐ Okay,full disclosure,
that story really did sound
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like something
we would do, r‐right?
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‐ Yeah, I mean, it feels like
something we'd pitch to Hulu
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00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:25,362
and they'd say,
"We don't understand it but go for it."
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‐ But I don't remember any of it.
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00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:29,616
I never went to a Rib Fest or met
this delicious rib‐looking Peter guy.
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‐ Yeah, just because
the story "sounded like us"
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doesn't mean we did it.
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‐ Yeah, we're good people.
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00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,081
Remember that time we turned
that homeless guy's blood
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00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:36,957
into Vitamin Water?
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00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,750
O‐o‐or when we killed
millions of bees
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00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:39,877
so people wouldn't get stung?
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00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,337
‐ Yeah, we invented vaping,
that has to count for something!
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00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:43,755
‐ You're both right.
We're great.
191
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,507
This was one hundred percent not us!
192
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,634
‐ Well, Peter is
a convincing witness.
193
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,553
Plus he's a big alien thing
and you're aliens,
194
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,430
so it's not hard
to think that you did this.
195
00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:52,764
‐ What does that mean for us?
196
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,558
‐ It means you're fucked.
197
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,230
‐ This is your last chance
to let me go, buddy.
198
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,940
Here they‐‐ they're coming,
do you feel 'em?
199
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,692
Do you feel 'em? They're coming.
It's all over for you. Get ready.
200
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:04,401
Oh, that hurt.
201
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,779
‐ Halk. Calm down, big guy,
don't do anything crazy.
202
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,323
Just put the Ring Pop knife down.
203
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,116
‐ Stay back!
‐ Let me kill him, please!
204
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,492
‐ What are you doing?
‐ He's the killer!
205
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,328
The 7 was an L,
it was upside‐down.
206
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:15,662
He lived in a fortune cookie.
207
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:16,747
‐ Wait, what are you talking about?
208
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:18,498
‐ If you caught the real killer,
then great!
209
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,876
But if you kill him,
it'll just make you a killer too.
210
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,337
‐ Stay back! Don't take
another fuckin' step.
211
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,256
‐ You know,
I bet prison isn't all that bad.
212
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,926
All I have to do is bide my time
until I go to the Sorting Hat.
213
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:29,760
You know what I'm saying,
my man?
214
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,763
‐ You're confusing prison
with the Harry Potter movies.
215
00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:35,057
‐ Don't make assumptions about people,
he might've read the books.
216
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:36,308
‐ Fuck you! Even if he had,
217
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:38,936
he couldn't avoid
the cultural impact of the movies!
218
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,562
‐ Come on, you won't fight me!
219
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:43,148
‐ Aah! Does this mean
I don't get to be in Hufflepuff?
220
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:44,900
‐ Aah! Ow!
221
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,985
Ow! God!
222
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:48,529
‐ What the fuck!
223
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:52,115
‐ Oh no, please tell me you got
a backup crack pipe inside that butt.
224
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,409
‐ How does everyone in this prison
have so many shivs?
225
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:57,287
‐ Well, they teach
a shiv‐making class on weekends.
226
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,039
‐ Why?
‐ Yumyulack,
227
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,375
give a man a shiv,
he shivs for a day.
228
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,126
Now, teach a man to shiv‐‐
229
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,545
‐ Ugh, this place is horrible.
230
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:05,712
There's hardly any sushi,
231
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,464
the guy making
the sushi is a rapist,
232
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,925
and he charges you airport prices
right before he shivs you.
233
00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,302
‐ This is fucking bullshit.
I know we didn't do this to Peter.
234
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:15,347
We're nice, Pupa‐fearing,
Fox News‐believing members of society.
235
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:16,390
‐ How did we get here then?
236
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:19,142
‐ There's only one explanation.
The Solar Opposites are getting set up.
237
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:21,812
Someone wanted to take us down.
238
00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:23,564
It's a conspiracy,
and we can't trust anyone.
239
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,816
‐ Oh! You think
Peter's the mastermind?
240
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,402
‐ No way! Peter's the best.
He has the face and ribs of an angel.
241
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:31,196
‐ How could you say that about Peter
after everything he's been through?
242
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,990
‐ Seriously, Terry,
go fuck yourself.
243
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,534
‐ If sweet angel Peter
didn't do it, who did?
244
00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:37,911
Is there someone in our world
we offended in some way?
245
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:41,290
‐ Um, last week Yumyulack and I
didn't want to take a history test,
246
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:44,293
so we used the Bone Changer Ray
to turn Ms. Frankie's bones into metal
247
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:45,294
like Marvel's Wolverine.
248
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,255
‐ What's happening to me? Argh!
‐ Hello, sweetie!
249
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,924
Did you forget to take your keys
out of your pocket again?
250
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,763
‐ Jesus, that's grim.
It must have been Ms. Frankie.
251
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,725
‐ Well, hold on, there was also
this thing with Roland last Tuesday...
252
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,476
I just watched Toy Story 4,
253
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,645
and I thought it would be fun
to make someone's toys come alive.
254
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,898
So I zapped this guy's stuff
with our Make‐Alive Ray.
255
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:08,942
Live , motherfuckers, live!
256
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,944
‐ Why is my stuff alive?
What's happening?
257
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:15,073
‐ That's messed up, Terry.
But another viable suspect.
258
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,617
It could also be Matthew.
‐ Who?
259
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:19,077
‐ He's the neighborhood fuckboi
who hates me for no reason.
260
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,329
He's kind of my nemesis.
261
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:23,040
Matthew told me I wasn't allowed
to wear Christ‐mas sweaters
262
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,833
because I don't know anything
about Christ‐mas,
263
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,043
whatever the fuck that is.
264
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,754
So I decided to shoot him
with the sci‐fi holiday cannon.
265
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,340
‐ Oh!
266
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:32,799
Oh god! No!
267
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,301
I can't feel my soul!
268
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,638
‐ Who doesn't know
about Christ‐mas now, you fuck?
269
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:40,974
‐ Okay, wow, we just flashed back
to three really good options
270
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,017
for who's framing us.
271
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:43,894
Honestly, there could be dozens
of hundreds more.
272
00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:45,354
‐ Guys, stop. Think about it.
273
00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:47,397
There's no way
humans could do this.
274
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:50,150
They're dumb as fuck.
‐ Yum's right, they hella dumb.
275
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,401
They're so budget.
276
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,570
‐ Jesse, stop trying to make budget
the new basic.
277
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,739
But yes, in this one instance,
they are budget.
278
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,407
‐ But someone did this to us.
279
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,409
Someone who's smart,
powerful, handsome,
280
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,411
loves animals,
has cheek bones for days,
281
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,871
lots of time on their hands.
282
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,540
Who could it be?
283
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,333
--JESSE/
-KORVO/
Obama!
Dora the Explorer!
284
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,752
Yes, Obama!
The pride of Occidental College.
285
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:11,964
‐ Motherfucker's been on our shit
ever since we out‐windsurfed him in Cabo.
286
00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,757
‐ We have to break out of prison
and clear our names.
287
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:17,219
‐ Hooray! The Solar Opposites
are staging a breakout!
288
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:21,974
‐ Pupa, you up?
‐ Yes!
289
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:38,949
Ta‐da!
290
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,826
--KORVO/TERRY/
-JESSE/
Pupa!
291
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:47,040
‐ Yes!
‐ Yes!
292
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,878
‐ Alright, the cops are after us.
That's enough Shawshank‐ing.
293
00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:54,173
Wait, what the hell are these?
294
00:11:54,173 --> 00:11:55,507
Oh god. Oh no.
295
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,425
We've got you surrounded!
296
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,426
Come out with your hands up!
297
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,178
‐ Come on , Korvo! Let's grab our stuff
and get out of here!
298
00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:01,471
‐ No, no, no! Look at the ribbons!
And the certificates!
299
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:02,848
Look at the fucking trophies!
300
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:04,641
‐ But I thought you didn't win
any rib contests?
301
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:06,018
‐ We all must have erased
our minds.
302
00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:07,811
We did do all that
horrible stuff to Pete.
303
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,938
‐ Oh god. We're monsters!
304
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:12,441
‐ No way, we're always using
sci‐fi stuff to help people!
305
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,610
‐ No, we don't.
We're cowards and sneaky shits
306
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,195
who use sci‐fi to make
our lives easier.
307
00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:18,906
‐ No one was setting us up,
we really just are horrible people,
308
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:19,781
I mean, aliens.
309
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,533
Guys, this is your final warning
310
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,785
before things get
all pew‐pew‐pew.
311
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,162
Wait, what?
People don't get tha‐‐
312
00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,371
Okay, just to be clear,
313
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:29,249
pew‐pew‐pew means we're gonna be
shooting bullets out of guns,
314
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,876
not Star Wars lasers.
315
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:32,085
You guys got that, right?
316
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,671
‐ Look, we're guilty of a lot,
but we can pay the price for Peter.
317
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,673
We have to let ourselves get arrested
and go back to prison.
318
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:40,969
‐ Hooray! The Solar Opposites
are taking responsibility!
319
00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:43,722
‐ Don't shoot,
we‐we‐we‐we're coming out.
320
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,057
Hold your pew‐pews!
321
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:48,894
♪ uplifting music playing ♪
322
00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:02,699
♪ foreboding music playing ♪
323
00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:10,415
Tim!
What the hell?
324
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,209
Halk Hogam,
what are you doing here?
325
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:13,335
‐ We need to talk!
326
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,421
‐ Of course, anything for a hero
of Wall War I.
327
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,173
‐ Don't listen to him, Tim.
He's gone crazy.
328
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,633
He's trying
to ruin Cherie Day!
329
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:20,759
‐ I've caught the real murderer.
330
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:23,011
He claims he's some kind of runner
who goes outside the Wall
331
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,221
for celery sticks and gum.
332
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:26,390
He says you
and the Walldermen protect him.
333
00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:28,559
‐ What the hell?
You told me it was a cricket.
334
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:30,394
‐ That's the line they were trying
to feed me, too.
335
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:33,689
‐ So this is the man
who's been terrorizing my utopia?
336
00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:35,107
‐ Yes. You assholes,
337
00:13:35,107 --> 00:13:36,692
I told you
Tim would want justice!
338
00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:39,444
‐ My sweet Ethan.
You're supposed to help me.
339
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,822
What did you do, you stupid boy?
‐ Wait, what?
340
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,324
‐ I've been making the Wall
a better place for all of us!
341
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,535
‐ You knew?
342
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,537
‐ I've known Ethan for a long time.
343
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:51,123
And yes, there is
a hole in the Wall.
344
00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:52,457
There is a way out.
345
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,254
‐ My god.
‐ Ethan does runs for me.
346
00:13:57,254 --> 00:14:00,299
He gets medicine, food,
using a system the Duke set up.
347
00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:02,134
But I didn't know
he was killing people.
348
00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:04,219
‐ I was just exerting
my will as a god!
349
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:06,763
Hey, would you tell him,
you guys, that I'm a god?
350
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,599
‐ You guys knew
this was happening?
351
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:10,517
‐ We were just doing
what we thought you would want.
352
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,977
‐ We wanted to shield you
from the truth
353
00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:13,604
so you could focus
on leading us all.
354
00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:16,565
‐ What you've done goes
against everything we've fought for!
355
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:19,318
But I know your hearts
are in the right place.
356
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:20,569
I won't punish you.
‐ What?
357
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:22,154
‐ That's not the way of the Wall.
358
00:14:22,154 --> 00:14:23,822
‐ Fuck no!
They can't just walk away!
359
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:24,865
‐ Thank you, Tim.
‐ Thank you for your mercy, Tim.
360
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,658
‐ But, Ethan, we have
to lock you up.
361
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:27,951
It's for your own good, my son.
362
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,203
‐ You can't lock me up!
363
00:14:29,203 --> 00:14:31,747
'Cause I'll just escape
and I'll kill all of you!
364
00:14:31,747 --> 00:14:32,831
Because I am a god.
365
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:35,042
‐ Halk, please let Ethan go
with the Walldermen.
366
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:37,586
he won't hurt anyone else.
367
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,173
Ow!
368
00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:43,091
‐ Take him
to the holding chamber.
369
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,137
I can get out of anything.
370
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,847
I command you to release me!
371
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,058
Ow, let me go!
372
00:14:53,644 --> 00:14:54,645
What's that?
373
00:14:55,187 --> 00:14:56,438
‐ Tim! What are you doing?
374
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:58,982
‐ Take the carb out, man!
Let us out!
375
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:02,152
‐ I can't. You let Ethan get away
with sullying the Wall.
376
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,238
The blood is on
all your tiny hands.
377
00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:05,697
Farewell, my friends.
378
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:10,827
‐ Oh no, Magic Shell!
379
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,167
‐ Not like this! No!
380
00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:18,585
‐ No, no, no, no, no, Tim!
381
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,255
Tim, I can stop killing!
I'm, I'm better now!
382
00:15:21,255 --> 00:15:23,757
No, no, no!
383
00:15:31,682 --> 00:15:32,850
‐ I had no choice.
384
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:35,102
They were part of the old way,
part of the problem.
385
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,896
But you, Halk, you can be part
of the solution.
386
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,022
Walk with me.
387
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,691
‐ Even if you didn't know
Ethan was a killer,
388
00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:43,402
you've kept the secret
of the hole this entire time.
389
00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:44,945
‐ I'm not asking you
to give me your trust,
390
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:47,072
but I owe you the truth,
391
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,073
all of it.
392
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:50,200
Hear me out, and then
you can decide what you want to do.
393
00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:56,248
‐ Terry, Korvo,
Yumyulack, Jesse.
394
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:58,333
I find you guilty on all counts.
395
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,419
I recommend you to be put to death.
396
00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:01,837
If anyone has an issue with this,
397
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:05,007
speak now
or forever hold your pe‐ace.
398
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,634
‐ I have something to say.
399
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,469
‐ Terry, the replicants,
and I have talked it over,
400
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,139
and we believe that we should,
in fact, be sentenced to death.
401
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,056
We, we deserve it.
402
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,434
Also, "speak now or forever hold
your peace" is for weddings.
403
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:19,188
‐ Folks, I didn't win the hit
ABC reality show America's Sexiest Judge
404
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:21,440
just to be disrespected
in my own court space.
405
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,483
Now for the deets
on the execush...
406
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,735
‐ Stop.
407
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:29,198
I believe the Solar Opposites
don't deserve to die.
408
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:30,199
‐ Whoa!
409
00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:32,034
Whoa, I did not see that coming.
410
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:34,411
It was that big rib monster
they trapped in the basement.
411
00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:35,704
But I had to keep it cool.
412
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,497
I mean, I was the sexy judge.
413
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,707
Speak your truth, homie.
414
00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:41,376
‐ Yes, they are really,
really terrible people,
415
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:44,213
which is why they deserve
something worse than the death penalty.
416
00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:46,590
If they die,
they'll only suffer for a moment.
417
00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:48,592
But if they live,
they'll have to suffer the guilt
418
00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:50,260
of what they've done forever.
419
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,262
‐ Oh, we can do that.
I feel totes guilty.
420
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,806
George, I am so sorry.
421
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,934
‐ There are punishments
that will keep them in pain
422
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,268
way longer than killing them,
423
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,145
some real fucked‐up stuff.
424
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,231
Like here, let me show you.
Check out this video on YouTube.
425
00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:04,900
‐ Holy fuck, we never even did
something like that at my frat!
426
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,444
We did get close though.
RIP, Bryce. We miss you, man.
427
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,112
‐ If it's on YouTube,
how bad can it be?
428
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:11,114
I‐I‐I bet it's just like weird tickling.
429
00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:13,909
‐ The aliens are going
to put on gloves
430
00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:15,744
filled with Brazilian Bullet Ants.
431
00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:18,163
The ants have the most
painful venom on Earth,
432
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:20,874
and each glove has over 500 ants.
433
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,168
The pain lasts for days!
434
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:28,006
I deserve this!
Aah! Me too!!
435
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,341
Stingers!
436
00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:31,176
Ha ha ha, yeah!
437
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:32,886
Woo‐hoo‐hoo!
438
00:17:48,694 --> 00:17:49,486
We did it!
439
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:54,116
We out sci‐fi'd
those piece of shit aliens!
440
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,577
Oh, it was complicated as hell,
but we did it!
441
00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:58,745
‐ I can't remember,
can you tell us how we did it again?
442
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,372
‐ I used the Bone Changer Ray
443
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:03,667
to turn a regular pig
into that giant, rib‐filled monster.
444
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:06,545
I bought some Solar Opposites masks
from the Hulu Store's
445
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,046
going‐out‐of‐business sale.
446
00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:11,300
I also got 15 Pen15 pens
that are also dildos.
447
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:13,468
Matthew, it was a genius idea
448
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:16,555
to switch the Holiday Spirit Cannon
to 4th of July mode.
449
00:18:16,555 --> 00:18:18,307
That's right.
Pre‐cooked ribs.
450
00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:21,059
Coleslaw poop and salt rub tears.
451
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:25,689
And, Roland, excellent call
452
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:28,942
to use the Make‐Alive Ray
to really land the plane.
453
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,403
‐ Holy fuck, I'm aware
of my existence!
454
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:34,114
Your name is Peter.
‐ Pe‐ter?
455
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:36,533
Aw, geez, don't cha know‐‐
Today, I've learned a lesson.
456
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:39,036
I'm Terry!
I'm gonna do donuts in the yard!
457
00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:41,455
It was so easy
to leave the harness unbuckled
458
00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:43,874
during our fake family meeting
so Peter could escape.
459
00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:49,087
Now those bitch‐ass aliens can pay
460
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,172
for all their crimes!
461
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,007
Today, humanity wins!
462
00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:52,633
‐ Whoa!
‐ Woo!
463
00:18:52,633 --> 00:18:54,843
‐ Oh shit! What have I done?
464
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:57,179
Oh lord, the pain!
465
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,598
I can feel it in my whole body!
466
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:00,724
I can too!
467
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:02,142
Even in my inner eye!
But it's, it's good!
468
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,228
We needed it!
We're pieces of shit!
469
00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:06,188
We're big pieces of shitty shit!
470
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,357
Ohh! We'll never be mean again!
471
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,067
We'll learn how to have empathy!
472
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:11,318
‐ We learned our lesson!
473
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,530
Oh my god,
look at this guy's shirt!
474
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,990
‐ Is that supposed to be
a Wayne's World parody?
475
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,617
Is your name Mark?
Ow! Ow!
476
00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:20,661
Those movies came out
a million years ago!
477
00:19:20,661 --> 00:19:24,373
‐ What kind of loser gets his name added
to a Wayne's World shirt?
478
00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:26,291
You suck!
‐ That's so embarrassing!
479
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,835
You're a real fucking idiot,
you know that!
480
00:19:28,502 --> 00:19:31,755
‐ I can't even look at you!
Get out of here, you fucking freak!
481
00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:33,048
Terry's right, get out of here!
482
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:34,466
‐ Oh, these ants feel bad,
483
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,635
but shitting on humans
almost evens it out!
484
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:40,347
Oh, wow. Look at this.
485
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:43,058
Good Cherie Day, everyone.
486
00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:44,768
Oh, that's perfect!
487
00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:46,061
Wow!
488
00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:48,397
Good Cherie Day to you.
489
00:19:51,817 --> 00:19:55,237
I've never told anyone this,
but it's been eating away at me.
490
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:58,824
Now is the time to tell
the true story of Cherie's death.
491
00:19:58,824 --> 00:20:01,702
The story you know... it's a lie.
492
00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:04,329
Yes, she was a hero
who helped me defeat the Duke.
493
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:08,292
Yes, she was my lover,
and yes, we had a bunch of sex.
494
00:20:08,292 --> 00:20:10,502
Pussy was poppin'. It was‐‐
‐ Tim, please.
495
00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:13,589
‐ The Duke didn't kill her
during the war.
496
00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:15,299
But then how‐‐
Cherie, she sees this hole,
497
00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:17,885
this little piece of blue sky,
and she snaps.
498
00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:19,136
She started talking crazy.
499
00:20:19,136 --> 00:20:21,430
She wants to force people out
into the backyard
500
00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:23,348
to let them get eaten by owls.
501
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,100
I thought Cherie and I were
on the same page,
502
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,311
but I realized she was
just like the Duke.
503
00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:29,188
In the end,
they both wanted chaos
504
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,981
and didn't stop to think
about the lives
505
00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:32,608
they would ruin on the way.
506
00:20:32,608 --> 00:20:33,692
She fought me.
507
00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:36,570
And I killed Cherie.
508
00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:40,240
I killed the love of my life
to save us all.
509
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,742
‐ No, jus‐‐ don't say that!
510
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:44,286
‐ I should've never kept
the Duke's Enforcers in power.
511
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:47,164
All I did was change their name
to the Walldermen. Clever.
512
00:20:47,164 --> 00:20:50,292
But still, the point of keeping the hole
a secret was to protect people.
513
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:52,044
‐ Why are you telling me this?
514
00:20:52,044 --> 00:20:53,629
‐ I never asked to be
in charge of this Wall.
515
00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:55,214
It weighs on a man.
516
00:20:55,214 --> 00:20:58,091
And I've been carrying
that weight alone for far too long.
517
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,843
Now we can bear it together.
518
00:21:00,469 --> 00:21:01,261
‐ What do you mean?
519
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,805
‐
you can tell everyone the truth.
520
00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:06,808
Life will change,
it might be hard, but that's life.
521
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:09,144
Or you can help me cover this up.
522
00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:12,856
We'll hide what Ethan did,
and life can continue.
523
00:21:12,856 --> 00:21:14,858
Either way, it feels good
524
00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:16,652
to not be the man on top of it all.
525
00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:19,905
So, Halk...
what are you going to do?
526
00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:26,453
Wallians, welcome to the first
annual Cherie Day.
527
00:21:27,955 --> 00:21:31,083
Before we get to celebrating
our fallen hero,
528
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:33,502
there is an important
announcement to make.
529
00:21:33,502 --> 00:21:35,462
But you won't be
hearing it from me.
530
00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:39,508
‐ We captured the murderer.
531
00:21:39,508 --> 00:21:40,467
It was...
532
00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:47,474
a rogue cricket
who got in the Wall.
533
00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:51,395
‐ That's right!
Thank you, Halk!
534
00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:53,397
You're a hero once again.
535
00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:55,732
We can now go back
to life knowing
536
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:59,152
the Wall is safer
than ever before!
537
00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:00,112
For Cherie!
538
00:22:00,112 --> 00:22:02,155
Cherie! Cherie!
539
00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:03,490
Cherie!
540
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:07,327
Cherie! Cherie!
541
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,830
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪